Writer Rant: Why are we questioning if male authors belong in MM Romance?

So, I don't normally cross-share my Facebook rants to the blog, but for those who aren't part of the MM Romance social media sphere, or have somehow been lucky enough to avoid the latest bruhaha in this blessed genre of abundant love, tolerance and joy, a smallish minority of female authors who read, write, and profit from the MM Romance genre have come out swinging against gay men writing in the genre, claiming that it's a space created by women, for women, meant to be a fantasy, not reflective of queer lives, and therefore queer men have no business writing it, or commenting on the work of others who do.

Which might be okay, if this were some tiny niche genre that did only impact its female authors and readers, but as it now grossly outperforms broader LGBTQ+ literature or any other genre with LGBTQ+ characters in terms of sales, often dominating Amazon charts, lists of 'Pride reads' and now breakthroughs into mainstream TV success, this idea that men don't belong in a space that revolves around our forms of love and sexual expression is...

Sorry girl, WTF?

Anyhow, if you're interested in my take on this latest round of asshattery as an author who's not particularly in the romance space but frequently has to move within it or adjacent to it to gain visibility, I've posted my thoughts below. Peace out. Keep reading.

If it feels like your feed is being bombarded with posts about male authors belonging in the MM space right now, it's because a strange minority of self proclaimed female 'allies' (and no, I won't name names) who write in the space have either flat out told us we're not welcome in a genre that is explicitly about us, or made it clear we're tolerated as long as we know 'our place' and stay quiet if they write anything ignorant or offensive. Because... I don't know. Supposed male privilege or misogyny or whatever, apparently.

This not only demonstrates a complete disconnect from the queer man's experience but a blatant expression that these people do not care. They are going to profit from us regardless of our feelings or lived experience. To them, we're ken dolls to mash together in whatever fantasy has their imagination at that moment. That is not allyship, and if you're going to push it for profit, expect to be called out.

Most female MM authors are not like this. They are engaged with our community. Our lives and well-being mean something to them and that shows in how they write us. They understand the shoulder check moment before we display public affection. They understand that male privilege often ends for us as soon as we stop 'passing' in a heteronormative space. They understand we're not all white, or male stripper fantasies. They engage with queer subculture outside the MM bubble. Nobody is asking anyone to drop these authors from your reading rotation.

But for the love of Oscar Wilde, just understand they're not the beginning, middle and end of queer storytelling. Take a chance on an author who's actually lived as an M who's into M. See if you notice a difference, or just enjoy the story. Some of us are writing grit, some of us are writing fluff, it spans the whole range of tones and genres and a lot of it's really f'ing good!