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My Cat's Guide to Online Dating cover
"A wild ride. Dark, disturbing, and that's just the cat."
'Nathan Burgoine, author of
Exit Plans for Teenage Freaks


A hook-up gone bad can be purrder.

Fresh from a breakup, deeply closeted freshman Zach jumps at the chance to housesit his family home and enjoy a long, horny summer free of both his ex and his religious parents. But when an old enemy turned hot hookup falls to his death, Zach turns to the only true friend he’s ever known—his cat, Grace Jones. 

With the dead man’s phone and a knack for texting, she promises Zach help, for a price that will satisfy both their appetites. Does it matter if Grace Jones’ powers draw on something far more ancient and sinister than a cell phone? 

“Get laid, Zachary. Get laid.” 

Each new hook-up brings Zach darkly humorous discoveries about life, love, sex, and his own desires. But Zach knows it’s only a matter of time before someone discovers his secret. Can he rely on his feline protector, or is he trapped in a hungry devil’s bargain?

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A wickedly subversive wit.

Jeffrey Round - Winner, 2013 Lambda Award for Gay Mystery

Christian Baines has struck gold with his debut (The Beast Without).

The Novel Approach Reviews

A writer with a bold original vision, not beholden to the limits of conventional genre tropes.

Michael Rowe, author of Enter, Night and Wild Fell

I'd pass (Puppet Boy) along to friends and mortal enemies alike.

Redfern Jon Barrett, Author of The Giddy Death of the Gays and the Strange Demise of Straights

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